Solipsist Reincarnation

I found a girl and exhorted her money. She seemed half-confused, half-scared, but she gave up her money nonetheless. Then, as I was walking way, a bespectacled kid saw me. The kid, shouting in a raised voice, said, "Stop ! I am you, and you are me !"

There was no sense to his statement, which irritated me to no end. Pissed, I beat up this insane kid. Immediately after the beating, the boy seemed to realize something, and ran way. Then, a winged angel appeared out of nowhere, and bellowed, "Thou shall feel the force of karma !"

When I next awoke, I found myself in an unfamiliar body, seeing everything from a much-displaced height. My next sight shocked me - someone resembling myself was approaching menancingly! I then realised that I was the girl I had previously exhorted! The shock and confusion left me stunned, and my money was effortless taken away by myself.

Another whiteout happened, and when I reawakened, I found myself in yet another vessel. I was now wearing spectacles... which would mean I was the bespectacled kid! The same one I beat up! Then I saw myself. Seeing myself approach, and knowing that I would soon be beaten by myself, I tried to stop this, by shouting "Stop! I am you, and you are me!"

It was useless, and I was beaten up. It was then that I realized the truth- that Karma works, but in a queer way. I was not being punished for earlier crimes. Rather, I was both the the victim and the perpetrator, that I was punished the instant I sinned against myself.

Upon realizing the absurd nature of the world, I repented, and became an angel.

Critical Reactions and Chain Mails (And Facebook)

Recently, I received a sort of chain mail on Facebook, which required me to list 25 random things about myself, and to then forward this to 25 people. Of course, I didn't reply because I didn't have 25 friends, but that's another matter altogether. In order to excuse my faux pas, I tried to create an elaborate explanation, which I detail here.

It struck me that chain mails, of which this was an odd example of, have great similarities to nuclear reactions. Each person, if affected, liberates a fixed number of mails, which may then also cause a similar event. If certain conditions are met, then a chain reaction has occurred.

I did study a bit on the subject of nuclear reactions, and the very obvious condition for a chain reaction was if number of reactions caused by a liberated neutron was greater than 1. Applied to chain mails, if each recipient of a chain mail manages to get 1 other idiot to pass on the mail, then eventually everyone will be spammed and/or the mail will outlast you.

The analysis is a bit simplistic, though. One ought to consider the nature of social networks, since in-groups tend to be interconnected, and asocial bastards that tend to be inhibitors also tend to not be very popular or influential in receiving or sending chain mails. Of course, what I was really trying to say with the last statement was that people with lots of friends tend to be ones that spam chain mails, for some queer reason. My personal take is that intelligent people are lonely, though this could be an example of self-serving bias.

Some academic ought to analyze the issue with more rigorous mathematics. It would make for a good paper, and an Ignobel prize.