Friday, December 29, 2006

The Corelation Between Money Spent and Exam Grades

When I recieved my NUS exam results a few days ago, I was quite stymied by the contradictory grades. Allow me to summarise with a table of the results, as compared to a relevant factor.

ModuleGrade$ Spent

*Money treating project mate to lunch when doing project at my home.

The table data shows clearly that the more money you spend on a module, the worse your grades! When I first made this discovery, I could hardly believe it. However, some thinking, I realised that there was indeed some basis for this phenomenon!

First, most of the money spent on the modules went to buying textbooks and other reference materials. We can establish that textbooks and reference materials contain lots of knowledge. Then, we know that Knowledge is Power. Hence, textbooks and reference materials contain lots of power. However, Power Corrupts! Hence, textbooks and reference materials corrupt! Ah! So that is why more money spent on a module actually decreases the grade in that module!

The lesson here is obvious. To ensure that your grades are good, please do not spend any money buying reference materials! For example, a Mr OZ, who did not spend any money buying any textbooks, scored well for the modules he did not spend any money on. I am sure you can find other examples of such well-scoring misers cheapskates financially prudent students.

Furthermore, by not buying any exhorbitantly priced reference materials (published by the lecturers), you will cripple the economic livelihood of said lecturers. Hence, they will be forced to survive by other means, such as selling TYS, selling exam scripts, busking by playing violins, matchmaking students etc.

In short, Say No to Spending Money!

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